My Buddy & Me - Normalising Grief & Loss and Learning Resilience

Book Reviews:

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My Buddy & Me - Normalising Grief & Loss and Learning Resilience 

Jane Oakley-Lohm

Phyllis Nicoll

Balancing of Life, 2018

45pp., pbk., RRP  $A30.00

9780648317760

Unfortunately, loss and grief can become part of any child's life at any time whether that be through separation, divorce, death or even an everyday, less dramatic (to an adult) event like a friend moving away or not being invited to a party and, because they are still a child, they don't have the maturity or skills to cope with the big emotions that follow.

Building on Einstein's philosophy that, "Imagination is more important than knowledge" because while knowledge is limited to what we already know and understand, imagination embraces the entire world and thus stimulates progress and innovation because creative thought enables us to explore possibilities beyond  our current reality,  retired counsellor and author Jane Oakley-Lohm has crafted this book to help young children develop strategies that will help them navigate those times when they feel overwhelmed by sadness.

Using a little boy who acknowledges he feels sad at times as the main character, he and his mouse buddy go for a walk in the garden and encounter a tree that  may lose a limb at some stage but while it will feel the loss, it will still go on living and eventually regenerate, just as Al will when he feels loss.  Using suggestions that focus on imagining a brighter future and doing things that make him happy, Mouse offers ideas that while not minimising the grief that Al feels, can move him forward as he works through his feelings.

It is designed to help children develop an inner resilience that doesn't rely as much on community support as it does on self-talk and self-awareness but nevertheless, it is one that probably needs adult guidance because most young children will not have the maturity to set their here-and-now emotions aside to appreciate and understand what Mouse is saying and to find a pathway forward.   It is one that could be used by a parent helping a child move forward, or a teacher helping students build emotional resilience offering a conversation starter that can help the child take the first steps beyond their immediate emotions, rather than just distracting them, thus being a useful addition to the mindfulness curriculum. 

This review can also be found here. 

Barbara Braxton

Teacher Librarian

M.Ed.(TL), M.App.Sci.(TL), M.I.S. (Children's Services) 

Dromkeen Librarian's Award 2003

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In 'My Buddy and Me', Jane uses her 20 years of counselling expertise to explore how children can navigate loss, loneliness and sadness. Using the depiction of a tree, its natural cycle of loss and regrowth is explored. Children can learn about resilience through practical activity suggestions that build on hope, connection and imagination. This book reminds me of my own solitary childhood growing up on a farm in country NSW. Cloud-watching was a favourite childhood pastime of mine, particularly during times of loneliness and navigating sadness. I was pleased to see it feature in this book. Young readers will easily connect with the key messages found in 'My Buddy and Me'. 

Kim B. Wagga Wagga, NSW, Australia
Counsellor
 

"My Buddy and Me: Normalising Loss and Grief and Learning Resilience is a thoughtfully designed therapeutic tool disguised as a picture book. Through accessible nature metaphors, it normalises grief, offers practical coping strategies, and gives children an imaginative companion to help them through difficult times. For counsellors, teachers, and parents navigating conversations about loss with young children, it's a valuable resource.

What makes this book original isn't its storytelling but its approach. As bibliotherapy, it feels fresh; as narrative literature, it reads more like an instructional manual than a traditional story. But the book knows exactly what it is—a therapeutic resource—and it does that job well. When judged by its true purpose—building resilience and normalising grief—rather than by traditional literary standards, it succeeds admirably."

Mark
Launceston
Lecturer U Tas

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My Buddy and Me, Children's Grief and Loss is a wonderful little book. It has fantastic pictures that will resonate with the target audience. I loved the way the book was structured with questions peppered through the book to invite discussion. The structure of the book teaches the process of identifying emotions, normalizing them and then it gives you a variety of age appropriate coping strategies to try. It would be perfect to use either in the home environment or a clinical setting. I can't wait to start using it in my role as a Child and Family Counsellor!​

Fiona
Child and Family Counsellor